day 5 - calling the shots.

(full list) - 05 - describe a time when you thought about ending your own life.

that’s some heavy shit. it’s not even asking what my views on suicide are, it’s asking for a specific moment in time when i wanted to kill myself. i mean, i’m all for disclosure… but i actually really don’t like talking about this kind of stuff, so i’m gonna beat around the bush a bit, just so i can move on with this project…

in my mind, i’m convinced everybody at one point or another has felt inadequate, like there’s no purpose or use for them in the world — and has, in one way or another – even for a split-second, contemplated how and/or if they would commit suicide. and, that’s honestly all i can say about the matter. even if i could find the words, i’d hardly do it justice.

so… if you or anyone you know needs help, various crisis hotlines can be found here… and the one specifically for new york is here… the only thing i can think of to add, is to always remember those who love you. you might not think your life is worth living, but they do. they need you. it’s what works for me. one day at a time is all anyone asks for.