hey kid, your time as come to change...

i've spent a great deal of time trying to figure out at what point exactly i stopped loving you and it turned out that i was never really in love with the actual you to begin with. i was in love with the person i thought you could be. the idea that i could change you - so to speak. but not in the sense that i could transform you by having you follow a set of rules or guidelines, more so that i'd be enough for you to change on your own. because at one point, you were the one i wanted to be with. but everything is different now.

i know now that there is someone out there who would hold my hand while walking down the street without shame. someone who'd let me pick a show to watch once in a while - even if it's grey's anatomy or friends. a guy who wouldn't deny me as his girl to his friends and family. someone who doesn't mind that once in a while i cry for no good reason or won't tell me that quitting smoking is easy. a man who'd throw any "fear of commitment" out the window because the idea of being without me simply isn't worth such a senseless fear. someone who'd love me in all of my imperfect glory and allow me to love him just the same...

and i can't wait to meet him. :)

"something inside me is breaking
something inside me says there's
somewhere better than this...

sunset sailing on april skies
bloodshot fire clouds in her eyes
i can't say what i might believe
but if God made you, He's in love with me."

-- fiveforfighting.