...

she walks with the sort of style & grace that makes men turn their heads in awe. she stands with poise and assertion making women wonder what she puts in her morning coffee to give her that reason to smile. (let her dream a little.) all the while she sits behind closed doors wondering what she could be doing differently to live up to the expectations that lie behind the eyes of complete strangers (vanity fair). more importantly, behind the pair that aids the object of her affection.

as adamant as she is about having everything done in that boderline annoying way that she does, all rules and promises of self-preservation get tossed out the window of missed opportunities and she stumbles down the road of "what could be" or perhaps, what might be. she figures, pay a little less attention to detail, and be left with a greater chance.

she's had "best friends" before but none that has meant more than the current. it's a trying time coming up with a reason as to how one person had the power to create a whole new category of friendship. the definition can't be understood by anyone other than the two involved. and even then - the ambiguity gets frustrating.

however, sleepless nights under clouds of confusion don't mean shit in comparison to the magnitude of gratitude (ha, that rhymes) she feels both for him and from him, the comfort she feels in the way that they just fit, and the ability to appreciate the smaller things in life without feeling the need to sweat the "bigger picture".

nothing is ever certain when it comes to the things that really matter, and you can't change the things you have no control over. she nods with contentment & understanding. nothing feels worse than being on the receiving end of a broken promise (which is the equivalent to being disappointed, ew) so it's better this way.

she writes before ten o'clock on a monday morning and comes a few run-on sentences short of a completely obscure [to some] yet crystal-clear [for others] blog entry, ever.